Monday, November 21, 2011

English 11 Assignment #2: Love?

       Love is like that new, cool slang everybody starts using. After a period of misuse and prolonged exposure to mainstream media it is devalued, made trite and trivial. The term “love”, as defined by our oh-so-reliable overlord, Google, is “an intense feeling of deep affection” or “to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment” . Over many years and through continued abuse “love” has decayed into something disgustingly bland and generic. “Ohmigosh Roxanne, I totally LOVE your new boots.” Do I really express feelings of intense passion for dead animal membrane? What does it mean when I claim to love both my car and my wife? Am I really romantically or sexually interested in my personal method of transportation, however sleek and stylish it may be? Perhaps. Do I consistently express “intense feelings of deep affection” to my wife? Perhaps not.

       Love, like many of the various forms of slang and cursing one might surprisingly encounter on an excursion to the local elementary school located in a nice, reputable neighbourhood, has been “dumbed-down” and streamlined, designed for widespread use regardless of the occasion. It can be thrown lightly to defuse a potentially lethal case of domestic violence, or to awkwardly acknowledge the departure of that obnoxious fourth cousin whom you would (hopefully) never see again. In its current diluted, pathetic, iteration love is just another corny word. So next time, when you feel obligated to tell someone what you think of them, buy them a present (or punch them in the face, depending on how highly you think of the people in question). After all, talk is cheap, but material objects are not.


To those who are still reading despite the conspicuous, cheesy, closure of the rant:
Please, send me your credit card numbers and bank PINs.
Thanks.
I love you.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

English 11 Assignment #1: Physical vs Sedentary


With my blatant reluctance to accomplish any task that requires effort it is hardly surprising that I live a life of excessive lethargy. At most, I experience only 2-3 hours of physical activity a week. This can be attributed to the lack of energy generally associated with sleep deprivation. It is rather difficult to be effective academically or otherwise, with only a few hours of sleep a day. Between school and attempted sleep I have little energy or motivation to attempt anything physically or mentally demanding, and suffer from permanent case of ringed eyes.

Also I'm a narcissistic, self-centered, whining, self-deprecating brat.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

To Kill a Mockingbird Assignment

To Kill a Mockingbird
(Language Arts Assignment)
“Scout’s Journal”
Entry #1
Dear Diary,
Calpurnia bought you for me so that I could “expand my vocabulary to a size appropriate for my upbringing.” Now I don’t have the darnedest clue what she meant, but whatever Calpurnia says is law, or that’s what’s been scolded into me after so many years. I wish she treated me better, the way she treats Jem and Atticus and all them houseguests, and even Dill, my new friend. Today he just climbed o’er the fence like it was public property, slung over the wire smug as a bug. He introduced himself and starting strutting around, all high n’ mighty, boasting ‘bout his Mississipi moving pictures and his readin’ skills. He even suggested we go over to mean ol’ Mr. Radley’s house, the Radley Place. Everybody knows Boo haunts the basement, moaning and groaning, all swathed with chains and the like. I think Dill’s crazy, but Jem gave him the A-OK, so I guess he’s okay with me as well.